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"You're not supposed to get drunk until tonight," she whispered, grinning at me.Everybody was grinning, and all I wanted to do was sit down and cry.We were all supposed to sit down at the same time, when the music stopped. It was about then that I realized I hadn't looked to see who was sitting by Gloria. What if the guy had brought her... or she had brought the guy? I turned around to look, just as every other Senior in school sat down. Jennifer tugged at my sleeve again."Get a grip, Bobby," she hissed.I couldn't find her, so I sat.People made speeches, which I paid no attention to at all. Mrs. Finch, the assistant principal got up to talk about how proud everybody was that, of the hundred and nine of us, eighty-one were going on to college some place, and six were joining the military. Eight were going to a technical school of some kind, and eight didn't know what they were going to do. That got a laugh. Then she got all emotional, and said that this year, six students had decided. . but I didn’t… I just finished the laundry then went down stairs to start dinner, trembling the whole time. I didn’t see him again until everyone else was already home and seated at the table, then he walked in and sat down. Talked to everyone like normal, even told me how good dinner was, like nothing had happened. I convinced myself that it was some sort of a mistake, he wasn’t being himself, something had driven him to it, and it was an isolated incident. But the next afternoon he had me bent over the kitchen table, his hand around my neck, saying ‘mom, pull down your pants, don’t you love me!?’ while he tightened his grip on my throat. I did it, and he fucked me again.I still didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t know why this time, but I didn’t. Maybe it was because I couldn’t bare to see my son arrested, or for the world to know my son had raped me. I sort of felt bad for him… I was making excuses again.. But I didn’t tell anyone. He continued to do it. Almost daily I was forced to let.
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